Etiquette For Destination Wedding Gifts You Need To Know
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Etiquette for destination weddings is always being debated.
This is especially true when discussing etiquette for destination wedding gifts. Guests spend a significant amount of time and money attending destination weddings compared to their hometown counterparts.
As someone who’s attended a destination wedding and helped host one, I‘m here to teach you exactly how to navigate the best etiquette for destination wedding gifts.
Are gifts at destination weddings common?
Etiquette for destination weddings says that gifts are expected.
Just like any other wedding, there’s probably a registry, and guests will purchase items from it to give to the newlyweds.
This being said, it’s becoming more and more common for couples to bypass wedding gifts. For destination weddings, this seems even more likely. With all the expenses guests are undertaking to travel to the wedding, couples will show their appreciation by requesting just the guest’s presence, no gifts.
If the couple does build out a wedding registry, it can be longer and more thorough than you’d expect. This is a sign they’ll send out marriage announcements or host a hometown reception to celebrate with people who couldn’t travel. The registry will be large to give the people unable to attend a chance to send a gift in their price range.
Check the invitation and wedding website!
Many couples planning destination weddings know their guests will have lots of questions. To help answer them ahead of time, they’ll fill out wedding websites or include extra information on their invitations.
When you receive your invitation in the mail, read it thoroughly to see if there are answers to any etiquette questions. Additionally, read through their wedding website to see if gift expectations are expressed.
Even if the couple has a registry on their website (a clue that gifts are expected!), they’ll likely have additional information about shipping gifts and mailing addresses.
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Should I get a gift when traveling is already expensive?
In short, yes. Destination weddings, whether hosting or attending, are expensive. If attending the wedding is difficult with your budget, it’s more than appropriate to pass on attendance.
When determining whether or not you’ll attend, automatically factor in your gift. Unless the couple has specifically stated that they do not want gifts, assume you’ll be bringing one – regardless of the cost to attend.
What do I get for a destination wedding gift?
pick a destination wedding gift off the registry in a price range that makes sense to you. Otherwise, give a gift of cash.
Sure, we could spend time listing out common destination wedding gifts. But, in all honesty, that’s not very helpful.
Couples getting married will want specific things – so they’ll have a registry. If they don’t have a registry, settling for cash is almost always better.
The average wedding gift of cash amounts to about $100 per guest – or $200 for the average adult couple. Of course, this changes depending on your relationship with the couple or any other unique factors regarding your wedding gift.
Do you travel with your gifts?
never travel with a destination wedding gift. instead, send it to the couples house before the wedding.
Traveling with your wedding gifts is always a bad idea. Plus, you’re only signing the couple up for a huge chore of a flight home to haul all of their gifts.
Again, resort back to the invitation or wedding website. There’s likely information on shipping gifts to their house before the wedding starts. If you can, try to time your gift to arrive within two weeks of the wedding starting to account for the couple’s travel time.
If you’re giving the couple a gift of cash, still have it sent to their house. This prevents the couple from having to travel back from their wedding with large amounts of cash on them.
Arriving at the wedding empty-handed can be uncomfortable. Knowing that you sent their gift, whether it be cash or a registry item, to their house, write a nice card. In the card, note that you send their gift to their house and you’re thankful for spending this time with them.
What if they specifically say they don’t want gifts?
If a couple specifically states they don’t want gifts, honor this request. Still, come to the wedding with a nice card expressing your well wishes.
When in doubt, always abide by the couple’s wishes.
Very close family members may still be giving a gift to the couple. This is really the only exception to the request of no gifts since the family member will know them well and be able to get them a gift that’s appreciated. More often than not, this will be some money or sentimental heirlooms.
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Timing of Destination Wedding Gifts
Determining the best time to send a destination wedding gift is trickier than your typical wedding.
Many guests will wonder when their gift should be sent to the couple’s house – which is why they likely answered this common question on their wedding website or invitation. Check here first!
With destination weddings, the couple and most immediate family members will be gone leading up to and after the wedding – making for a pretty bad time to send a gift to their house.
If you’re stumped, shoot for the gift to arrive at their home a few weeks before or after the wedding. Either way, mention it in the card you give them on their wedding day.
Foolproof Etiquette for Destination Wedding Gifts
While notoriously challenging, etiquette for destination wedding gifts is simple if you follow a few rules of thumb.
First, read through the entire wedding invitation and website. You’re not the only person with questions, so the couple likely has answered them somewhere.
If you find a registry, odds are gifts are expected. Still, read through any descriptors or FAQ pages to see if any notes are made.
When in doubt, settle for a gift of cash and a thoughtful card.
If you give the couple a gift, send it to their house. Traveling with the gift is a chore for everyone – especially the newlywed couple.
Finally, don’t show up to the wedding empty-handed. Gift or no gift, write a thoughtful card, and if applicable, make a note of the gift you sent to them.
