Who to Invite to Bridal Shower so Everyone is Happy
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A bridal shower is the perfect break from the chaos of wedding planning for a bride to relax and connect with those close to her.
With weddings come many etiquette questions. Pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower, can be difficult to navigate socially.
As you plan a bridal shower, you must know who and who not to invite. The last thing the bride needs is an offended guest before the big day!
After reading this post, you’ll know exactly who you should and shouldn’t invite to the bridal shower.
Who’s invited to the bridal shower?
Traditionally, bridal shower guest lists include all the female people who are family members or close to the couple getting married. Specifically, mothers of the couple, grandmothers, sisters, and close female friends. This group should include the majority of the wedding party, since bridesmaids are close female friends of the bride.
Once the guest list is down to the “friend” category, it narrows or widens. If you have a few more spots, maybe invite coworkers that the bride is close with and spends time with outside of work. On the other hand, you can take people off of the guest list depending on how much time they spend with the bride or whether or not they are in the wedding party.
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How many people go to a bridal shower?
The typical bridal shower has 15-20 people in attendance. Keep in mind that this number is just an average. Many brides have more or fewer guests at their shower, depending on various factors.
The number of people who attend your bridal shower is determined by your budget, the venue size, and who is automatically invited. A great way to arrive at your guest number is to start with the people expected to attend and add more, depending on your budget and venue capacity.
Do you invite out-of-town guests?
Yes, you should invite out-of-town guests to the bridal shower—even if you know they can’t make it. Not sending them an invitation makes them feel unimportant.
Some out-of-town guests, such as siblings or the mother of one of the people getting married, may be expected to attend the bridal shower. In these instances, it’s best to communicate with them directly before determining your bridal shower date. Odds are, they will make accommodations to attend and will need to work with you to choose a date that works for everyone.
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Who do you invite from the groom’s side?
Traditionally, immediate female family members and very close female friends of the groom are invited to the bridal shower.
Remember that traditional expectations aren’t a hard rule—it’s not uncommon for men to attend bridal showers as long as they’re a good fit. As you select your guest list, keep an open mind!
The Bride Gets the Final Say
It’s important to note that the bride does not host the bridal shower. Rather, it’s the maid of honor or mother of the bride who throws the shower for the bride.
Before any invitations are sent out, the bride needs to approve the entire guest list—it is their shower, anyway!
If They Aren’t Invited to the Wedding, They Don’t Get Invited to the Shower
If you’re having a small wedding, odds are your bridal shower will be small, too. It’s considered rude to invite someone who isn’t invited to the wedding to the bridal shower.
This rule works well in terms of budgeting. Smaller weddings typically have smaller budgets and, therefore, less money allocated to the bridal shower. Luckily, the guest list will also be small, making it easy to stay within budget. The same is true for large weddings, which have bigger budgets.
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Does the groom go to the bridal shower?
Sometimes, a groom will make an appearance with some flowers or another small gift at the end of a bridal shower. This isn’t expected and it is up to the couple to decide if it’s something they’d like to include.
How do I tell someone they aren’t invited?
It might seem obvious, but avoid discussing the bridal shower with anyone who isn’t invited.
If someone who hasn’t been invited asks you why they didn’t receive an invitation, explain that the bridal shower is a very small, intimate celebration hosted by someone else, so you couldn’t invite everyone you wanted to. If possible, follow up with something they are attending, such as, “I’m so excited to celebrate with you at my bachelorette party, though!”
Conversations like this one can be tough. Keep your answers short and sweet, and be honest about venue or budget restrictions. Hopefully, the person you’re talking to is kind and understanding and doesn’t take things too personally.
If someone is really enraged that they didn’t receive an invite, it’s probably a lost cause. Odds are, this behavior is why they weren’t invited in the first place!
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